Stress Effects on the Family

     It's today's culture stress is viewed as something undesirable and unwanted in one's own life and especially in one's own relationships. People might think that having no stress in their lives would be better, but the truth is that some stress is actually beneficial. There is a inverted "U" distribution  relationship with stress benefits, what that means is up till a certain point stress is actually beneficial and can improve performance but if stress exceeds that threshold it can actually negate our performance. Some examples of this in the real world is studying for a test or doing homework last minute. If it weren't for stress then we wouldn't be motivated to complete those tasks or in sports if we weren't a little stressed out then we wouldn't be as motivated. So some stress in our lives are a good thing, but obviously there a point where that stress becomes detrimental. But we are more interested stress and it's effects on a family and not a single individual. 

    Things that can stress a relationship is death of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job, finances, getting married, finding a new home, and emotional issues. Those stressors can be difficult to handle or get started on now that you are on your own with your spouse. Stressors in relationships can lead divorce because you don't know how to handle it and it can lead to blaming your problems on your partner which decreases marital satisfaction and lead to divorce. So that's one way a relationship can handle stressors. The other way you can handle it is by facing it together. View it as being on the same team trying to tackle this problem and solve it instead of viewing the other as the cause of the problem and the enemy. There's the example of young couples being broke together and having positive memories of those times. Being broke is stressful, there's little denying that, and during those times if you are working together then those can be very fond memories you can look back on and that experience strengthens the relationship instead of weakening it.

    When there is a troubling event in your life like an unexpected medical trouble or not having enough money to stay in your home it can go one of two ways. First things first though, the actual event happens and then you consider your resources like your money, education, friends, family, non-profit organizations, counselors, and church ward. After you have those, then comes your response, and that depends on your cognition. The way you view things affects how you respond to the problem and your relationship. you simply have to work together because your partner might see an angle that you don't and that wouldn't have been shared if you are pinned up against each other and blaming one another. Just work together, you are on the same side and you are in this together. Conflict is a  problem to be solved not a battle to be won. You are in this together, not on opposite sides. That's the way to handle stress and problems the right way in a relationship. 

    You can explain your pain without blame. When you have a problem you can talk about it and be open. You can explain your point of view and come from a place of love. People often blame themselves for bad events and that can lead to putting emotional strain on yourself which leads to stress but that's one reason why we have a companion. For comfort, affection, and sympathy, someone to lean on when times get hard. Having each other during a difficult time is an amazing resource to have. Tragic events can bring the family closer together. Having a strong relationship with your spouse is one of the most important things in this life. Work together and be together. The things we want to avoid can be our greatest opportunity to grow.