Sexual intimacy

    This week in class we talked about sexual intimacy between a married couple. For me personally I wasn't raised to be comfortable with talking about sex openly, but at the very least I am mature enough to handle talking about sex. Funny story about, I never had the talk about the birds and the bees, I just kind of figured it out by myself. Anyways back to what we talked about in class. I'll talk about the biology of it that I found interesting and how sex should be used in a marriage.

    So first interesting thing that I remember in class was the question "what is the biggest sex organ you have?" The correct answer is your brain, that's where you feel pleasure and all that jazz. It was a little awkward when that question wasn't answered straight off that bat because you'd probably think of other things. Next interesting thing I learned is that men's sex drive peaks at the age 18 and women's sex drive peaks around age 30-35. That was pretty shocking to hear because that is a HUGE age gap and makes you wonder why people are made that way. If I were to speculate I would say that's to motivate women to have more children before they can no longer have children because mid 30's are around the time where they can safely have children. the younger you have children the better safer and more smoothly a pregnancy can go. I would say mid 30's is when you aren't going to as safe and smooth of a pregnancy, but of course that varies from person to person. Next thing that wasn't really new to me but has new implications is that men get excited more quickly and they take more time to recover which is called the refectory period. Women tend to take longer to get excited but they also have a longer cool down. So the implications of this mean that after sex men are kind of done and want to be left alone since they have a recovery period, but that's actually a missed opportunity for men to be closer to their wives because they haven't cooled down yet so after sex it's a good thing to cuddle in order to come closer to one another.

    That's the biology stuff I learned, so now there's the reasons for sex. Sex has 3 purposes, it's suppose to be pleasurable, bring the couple closer together, and to bring a child into this world. It today's world though it's usually just seen as something to bring pleasure. that's why there are things like one night stand and hookers. Those relationships are never successful or long lasting and can't ruin your future relationships. If you can remember the RAM model the intimacy touching part of the relationship should come last, not first. You must first know, trust, and rely on them.  That can be hard though because it's natural to physically attracted to people, and that's why some some control and disciple is required to avoid be seduced because what we would naturally want to do. That's why sex is reserved only for being in married because when you marry someone you usually know them pretty well and it's a good natural progression that can help you come closer together. 

    The 3rd reason for having sex is to create life, have a baby and expand your family. Interestingly enough having a baby decreases marital satisfaction because the women is no caring for and giving lots of attention to the baby which makes the husband feel left our because they don't do what they use to. Their time is divided between multiple things. So to help prevent this from happening is to keep the husband involved and talk about how you are going to divide attention so that the marriage is still strong. The secret to having a good marriage is to simply talk to each other and be open minded. 2 easy steps