Roles in Family

     This week I learned about the theories of family relations. Those theories include the exchange theory, systems theory, conflict theory, and symbolic interaction theory. We looked at those theories and we applied it to the family, I'll provide a brief description of what each was about. 

  1. Exchange Theory: We stay in relationships when we get out as much as we put into it.

  2. Systems theory: There are rules and roles people take (spoken or unspoken) and we take different roles around different people.

  3. Conflict Theory: There is a limited supply of resources which can cause conflict. Conflict can be good and bring additional information

  4. Symbolic Interaction Theory: Behaviors affect our experience, we are influenced by each other. Our actions are symbolic of something in other people’s eyes. What someone sees as controlling the other sees themselves as being nice.

    So all of those theories play a role in how family relations are sustained, maintained, or broken. I feel like the exchange theory is pretty logical, but there are those exceptions where people stay in an abusive relationship and they certainty don't get out as much as they put in. 

    System theory plays a role in any family and in any relationship. Everyone has some sort of role and rule even when you live alone, and in that case you would play all the roles and the you would also make all the rules, but in a family situation everyone plays a different role. I'll get into that theory later on in this read. 

    Next we have the conflict theory and I feel like this theory is most applicable to a couple's relationship, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend. In those types of relationships you have to make both happy and in those decisions there are always limited resources which require some sacrifice and decision making. Those resource could include time and money and there's almost never enough of both of those resources, and because of that it can create conflict. You can either go golfing or you can go watch a movie, not enough time or money to to both, and the popular (possibly correct answer) is to do what the girl wants. 
The saying "a happy wife is a happy life" is good mindset for these types of scenarios ;)    
  
  Lastly we have the symbolic interaction theory which is a very fun thing to analyze in people. In a some examples I had in class we said that the guy always picked up stuff and made unexpected gestures to the wife and from the wife's perspective she saw it as controlling and annoying but from the husbands perspective he was just trying to be nice and give a nice surprise for his wife by doing unexpected things. The things we do can be totally misread by people which is why this theory is so interesting. 



    So back to the systems theory and how everyone has a role. In my family I have a Mom, Dad, older sister, and younger brother. In our system we all play a vital role and if we didn't have all of us playing our part we would have a very different family dynamic. My sister is the glue of the family and she brings our family all closer. My brother is the trouble making but we all love him and he is truly needed in order to maintain our family balance. I'm not quite sure what I am but I would say I'm the jokester, but I often distance myself. My part varies moment to moment, but I'm always there when needed. My parents have very similar roles but if I were to distinguish them in some sort of way I would say that my mom makes the rules, so the rule maker. My Dad is just the cool guy everyone in my family wants to be really good friends with and spend more time with. I don't really know what kind of role that this but I'll label it as the "cool guy" role. So from my analysis of my family I can confidently say that each of it's members play a crucial and varying roles, and if we were to not have one of these members we would have to compensate in some way. For example my sister is out of state serving a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints and because she is away our dynamic needed to compensate in other ways. It's different to not have our entire family together but we make it work.

    I would say that all families are similar to mine in one way or another. All families have their rules and roles, spoken or unspoken and they wouldn't be the same if someone was missing from it. 

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